


Bluetooth is a terrible protocol

by elmyra



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon GO, Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu
Genre: (Sorry Bandom Wranglers!), Bluetooth, Bluetooth is a terrible protocol, Gen, Non-binary Pokemon Trainer, Non-binary character, Pikachu POV, The Black Parade, The Sharpest Lives, my chemical romance - Freeform, xkcd 2055
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 20:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16899528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elmyra/pseuds/elmyra
Summary: That one time Pikachu's human accidentally put nine Snorlaxes in their headphones and made the Pokeball play The Black Parade.





	Bluetooth is a terrible protocol

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Slant for the beta!

Pikachu is dozing in its Pokeball, cradled gently by the movement of its human's hand as they walk through the Grey World. The Pokeball buzzes sometimes, and then pretty lights flash. Pikachu likes the pretty lights, especially the purple. Sometimes Pikachu calls out to its human, and they respond. Sometimes its human remembers that Pikachu is in the ball and plays with it. 

When it's not in the ball, Pikachu is in the Colour World. This is not like the Grey World that its human is walking through right now, but a world where Pikachu can sit on its human's shoulder and make friends with its human's other pokemon. Sometimes Pikachu and the others get to battle other humans' pokemon, and Pikachu is good at this and proud of the many battles it has won. Its human always makes sure Pikachu and the others are ok afterwards, spraying them with potions and sometimes even feeding Pikachu berries as a reward. They play with Pikachu in the Colour World too, ruffling its fluff and tickling its belly, and putting pretty purple flowers on its tail. (Sometimes Pikachu is both in the ball and in the Colour World. Pikachu doesn't give that much thought - it just happens.)

Pikachu is dozing in its Pokeball. 

Pikachu is wide awake. There's no gentle buzzing, no pretty lights. There is NOISE. Loud, loud noise. There's a human (not its human) screaming (singing?) something about vampires and burning empires. Pikachu's heart is racing. The Pokeball is not safe. Pikachu needs to get out, away from the noise. 

There's an exit. It's not the usual exit that Pikachu uses to get from the Pokeball to the Colour World. But it's similar. It's not always there, but sometimes, when the Pokeball buzzes and does the pretty lights thing, it's there. "Pika pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," Pikachu screams, and dives through the exit.

***

The new place is vast. It's so much bigger than the Pokeball. It's even bigger than the Colour World (though Pikachu can also sense that its manifestation in the Grey World is smaller, sort of rectangular and flat, glossy and with curved edges). It's kind of cluttered. There's stuff everywhere, and looking around, Pikachu doesn't recognise any of it. Pikachu wrinkles its nose, sniffing, and starts cautiously moving through the piles of stuff. Turning a corner, it sees what looks like a human, running, with lots of human hands grasping at it. Pikachu shudders, letting out a small, involuntary "Piiiiika" noise. It scurries in the other direction.

Pikachu walks through the Vast Place. Every so often something in the clutter catches its attention. There's someting that looks a bit like a Krabby, but it's the wrong colour (sort of white on a blue background), and when Pikachu goes to investigate it's nothing like a Krabby. Pikachu doesn't know what it is. There's also a white, Pidgey-like thing, also on a blue background. It, too, isn't a Pidgey though. And a Vulpix, which is even the right colour, curled around a blue ball. Pikachu doesn't have high hopes when it goes to sniff it, and thus its ears only droop slightly when it turns out not to be a Vulpix. 

Pikachu walks through the clutter for a long time. A couple of times it passes things that look a bit like pokeballs, though they're the wrong colour, or a slightly different construction. Once, it sees something that _is_ a pokeball, and its ears prick up. It turns out to be an entrance to the version of the Colour World that maps onto the Grey World, the one that makes all the flashy lights and buzzing in the Pokeball. Maybe if it can get in there, Pikachu can find out what's wrong with the Pokeball? It pokes the entrance a few times, but it doesn't open. Frustrated, Pikachu growls, but that doesn't intimidate the entrance into opening either.

After a while, rather than continuing to walk between the piles of stuff, Pikachu decides to jump on top of them. It can't get straight to the top of the tallest ones, but it takes a running jump at one of the smaller piles ("Pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"), and from there onto another, taller, one. It's a bit of scramble, and for a moment, Pikachu is hanging precariously off the edge, but it boosts itself with a little Thunder Shock and makes the top. 

Once there, panting, Pikachu looks around. It's still Vast, and Cluttered, but Pikachu can now see further, and in the distance it spies a couple of exits. Jumping from pile to pile, it heads in that direction.

***

One of the exits is enormous. Pikachu has never seen anything like it. Standing on the ground in front of it and looking up, and up, and up, it doesn't seem to end. Beyond the bright light, Pikachu can see so many things moving in so many directions, faster even than a Zippy Zap. It has no idea where that exit leads, and just the thought of going through it makes Pikachu want to cry.

The other exit looks more like the ones Pikachu knows, the ones that lead from the Pokeball to the Colour World, and the one that took it from the Pokeball to the Vast Place. Pikachu pokes it with its paw, and when nothing disastrous happens, it cautiously walks through.

It's... cramped. And dark. It feels about the size of the Pokeball, but it's nothing like as cozy, and there are no pretty lights. Pikachu bumps into something. It feels large and soft, and Pikachu jumps, bumping into another large soft thing. One of the large, soft things makes a noise, somewhere between a yawn and a growl. It sounds... it sounds suspiciously like a Snorlax?

"Pika-PIKA!" Pikachu yells in its excitement. 

There are several more Snorlax noises, and Pikachu realises it is surrounded by large, soft things.

"Pikachu?" And that's its human's voice. Pikachu's ears prick up. It tries to jump, but in the small space it just ends up bumping up against another Snorlax.

"PIKA-PIKA!" Pikachu yells again.

"Oh Pikachu, I'm so glad I found you! But what are you doing in the headphones?" 

Pikachu isn't entirely sure what headphones are. "Pika pika PIKA pika!" it explains.

"Hang on buddy, I'll work out a way to get you out of there!"

"PIIIIIKA-pika!"

The Grey World manifestation of the place shakes, and then everything is still for a bit.

"Pika-pika?"

"Hang on buddy, I'm on it." There is some indistinct muttering and then, "Might be a little while though..."

"Pikaaaaaaaaaa..." says Pikachu and curls up on one of the Snorlaxes to wait. The Snorlax grumbles a bit but goes back to sleep.

***

A musical sort of sound emanates from the walls of the small space, waking Pikachu up before being largely absorbed by the Snorlaxes.

"Pika?" Pikachu looks around to find a new exit has materialised. It's a small one, like the ones it's used before, so Pikachu bounds over the Snorlaxes until it's right in front of it. "Pika?"

"Pikachu! Come on over buddy!" says its human.

"Pika-pika!" exclaims Pikachu, and is getting ready to jump through the exit when it realises that its human might not know about the Snorlaxes. It stops in its tracks, balancing precariously on a Snorlax.

"Pika pika pika pika!" it explains.

"What is it buddy?" asks the human. "It's ok, you can come through."

"PIKA-pika!"

"Pikachu?" It's human sounds confused.

"PIKA!" Sometimes Pikachu's human isn't very clever.

Pikachu sighs and Thunder Shocks the nearest Snorlax.

***

Nine Snorlax battles later - no, it is _not_ food! - Pikachu, looking slightly the worse for wear but having sent all the Snorlaxes, one by one, ahead of it, finally makes its way through the exit.

After the darkness of the Small Cramped Space Full of Snorlaxes, the light and colours of the Colour World are almost blinding. 

"Pikachu!" its human exclaims when they see it.

Pikachu would bound over, it honestly would, but there's a sleeping Snorlax just in front of the exit, so it climbs that, curls up on top of it, and falls asleep instead. It's had a long day. Its human can spray it with potions and feed it berries, and tickle its belly, and put purple flowers on its tail - once it's had a nap.


End file.
